Amuse Me

#44: Enchanted Long Weekend

We were supposed to hit the beach at Galera for the long weekend but schedules wouldn't permit it. We all know that if you plan on going to Puerto Galera after lunch, you might as well put your last will and testament in order. Since I had to teach until 5pm Sunday, there was definitely no way Galera was happening this time.

And so Enchanted Kingdom it was. My friend's dad called her to ask where she was: She happily said "Enchanted Kingdom!"
"Wha-? What are you doing there?! That place is for kids!"

But that's the thing. All four of us are kids at heart.

Last night, we went to the country club for a swim and guess where we hung out the longest? At the kiddie pool which was 3ft deep. Why? Because it had nice fountains/squirting things and lights all around. (Afterwards we went to the sauna and did time at the jacuzzi to appear a bit more adult.)

This morning, when we got to EK, the peeling paint and the deserted air of the place didn't give much prospect for fun. The place had not been properly maintained, several food stalls had closed down, and amusement park employees seemed less than amused. We were however determined to make it a fun day and so a fun day it became. (As we always say, "The party's over here.")

We got there at 11am. The heat was severe and could cook you into lunch within a couple of minutes. We decided to go to this simulation theater for practical reasons: it had air-conditioning. The feature was something geekily called, "Smashdown?" and it involved being driven around by some psychotic guy. The "driver" talked too much and we had our heads banged around way too often. We cooled down alright but I think all the smashing and banging left too many brain bits scattered all around our seats.

Next stop was the roller coaster. What's a visit to an amusement park without hitting the roller coaster? I gamely jumped in and quickly regretted it as soon as we hit the first dip at 1000kph. (Well, it sure felt like it. I thought we actually broke through the sound barrier.) But you see, that's what I love about roller coasters. First the thrill, then the regret, then the excitement of recounting the experience. I love roller coasters.

Then we rode bump boats and bump cars and every possible thing we could control and use to terrorize innocent victims. An easy target was this little Korean boy. We were 15-20 years older than this poor kid but that wasn't the point. He was prey and we were having fun. (Haha. Okay, that sounded mean. Would it help if I told you he loved us and asked us to adopt him afterwards?)

Then came the water rides. The whole point of water rides is to get you soaked. If you don't end up wet after one, then there is major failure somewhere - failure that can easily be corrected by going to the restroom and diving into the toilet.

Of course, the most logical thing to hit after a water ride is a "drying" ride. That's what huge swings are for. And that is why they are situated opposite the Rio Grande Rapids ride. They didn't get us dry enough but at least we were no longer dripping after it.

Then we went to this 4D theater. (Take note that the airconditioning here was superb and we were all superbly wet so that could only spell pneumonia. We'll see who ends up sick tomorrow.) Anyway, three of us have seen this feature, "Escape from Bane Manor." Only one of us had the right to actually be surprised at the sudden sprays of water or the bursts of cold air on our faces synched with the 3D horror flick. But my friend Cathy strangely went through the whole thing again as if it was her first time. She kept on jumping up her seat that I was tempted to hit her with my elbow and remind her that this was all just make-believe and that she had already seen this exact thing before. (I guess I must say, "Well done, Cathy. Not only did you escape Bane Manor alive, you also got the full worth of your Php40.00 all over again.")

For our finale, we did Aeroball - this weird claustrophobic version of Slamball. The trampolines were fun. More so if you don't have a shattered knee (like Cathy does), or a severe aversion to exercise (like Justine does) or spontaneous cases of migraine (like I do). Oh and Vier? He was the reason I got the migraine. (He was clobbering me in the game and you know I hate losing. :) Seems like that headache wasn't so spontaneous after all. Hah.)

Well, this has gotten long and I think only 4 of us will actually enjoy reading this. (Not that anyone would complain given that most are lazy to leave comments. Mohoho.)

Let me just wrap this up by giving you a couple of new terms to chew on:

1. Lampas-Gutom - Nalipasan ng gutom... na hampas-lupa.
Ex. "It's 9pm already and we haven't had dinner. Lampas-gutom na ako!"

2. Large Fries/Large Frize - What you get when you shoot three consecutive balls.
Ex. "If you sink 2 consecutive balls, you get a medium-sized prize. But if you shoot 3 consecutive balls, you get large fries."

3. Spoon - plastic utensil they give you when you order apple taffy. It surprisingly looks too much like a fork.
Ex. "Always use your spoon to get a slice of apple from Justine."

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Additional note:
Free tickets only work if they exist.
Mohohoho.